They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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