Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
