i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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