Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
