how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
