Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
