It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize