Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
