I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
