i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
