Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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