No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
