Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
