She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
she told me i tasted like america
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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