Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
