My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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