Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
