Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
