Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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