why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
