This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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