we have pet lesbian snakes
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
