what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize