Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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