I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
