NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
