I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
