It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
