Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
whose ass print is on the piano?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
