mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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