How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
