he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
