i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
