I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
