I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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