return my video game
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
