I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
