My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
