Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I believe in your delicious
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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