You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
