We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
