Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
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