she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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