1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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