kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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