it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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