I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
