whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
3 2 1 whiskey
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Shame - the story of my life.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
