I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
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There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
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You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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