Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
