obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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