I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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