Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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