big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I wish you could order shots online.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
