she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
