reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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