these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
