Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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