I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
The air taste purple.
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