He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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