Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize