What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokรฉmon. What a time to be alive.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
Randomize
