just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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