This dress was meant to end up on your floor
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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